I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
