We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize