Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
