So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I will pee on everything he values.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
