I accidentally had phone sex last night
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
