She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
