if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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