i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
