I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
