bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
