I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
