So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
