I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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