I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
