There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
