Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
