you guys were way drunker than both of me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
