This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sorry about my life...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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