We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize