nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
