I'm so fucking centered right now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
