i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
