somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
