Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
