Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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