I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
