we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just pee around me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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