ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
