Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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