32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
