We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
