ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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