The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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