Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
