I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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