You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize