Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
