using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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