I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
