I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
