she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She told me I should be a condom model.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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