Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
