i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
