I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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