after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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