WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
