i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
