I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im six kinds of drunk right now
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
