Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
