too bad you live with your parents still
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have post one night stand depression
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
