8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
