Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
