yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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