I puked a lego.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
