I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
soo... how was my night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
