God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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