Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
