is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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