Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
