i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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