Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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